Oh, that isn't normal, is it?

I think I may experience some culture shock as I relocate to what pretty much amounts to suburbia.  I have mixed feelings about it, although I am so very happy to be heading back to Virginia.  Although I sort of knew this already, it became more apparent during our honeymoon.

So, I didn't know this, but apparently Sandals and Beaches are owned by the same company and there are distinctions between who they're marketed toward and even who can go there.  Beaches is more family-friendly and also, I think, semi-singles friendly.  Sandals is designed for couples.  This is not a place to go if you are not absolutely secure in being single.  Everybody there was either on their honeymoon or celebrating an anniversary.  While it was really fun, it was kind of weird at times. 

Anyway, we met a lot of really nice couples.  And every other person we met was a teacher!  So, of course, when you meet other teachers, you sort of share about how crazy the profession is- the kids, the parents, the administration, the legal elements (many of which are completely nonsensical, but that's neither here nor there), plus you also talk about the good parts.  Even I (and I am leaving the field running!) have good stories to share.  We met several people who teach in schools similar to mine, plus some who are in the heart of suburbia. 

Both types of schools have their quirks.  I had a kid in my class this year whose older brother had just joined a gang and got his little brother heavily involved in gang activity (yes, I taught third grade this year).  I could probably devote an entire blog to that one child.  I referred to him as the Prince of Darkness (he told me he was the devil once).  I had several CPS kids.  I had one who had been abandoned.  The list goes on. 

On the other hand, you have CrAzY parents in suburban schools.  I mean I had crazy parents, too, but this is a different kind of crazy.  I love parents who want to volunteer and be involved.  I had some awesome parents this year.  You get those in all kinds of schools.  Suburban schools tend to have greater numbers, however, of parents who don't really want to be involved in a volunteering or productive capacity, but would rather just go and cause trouble.  Their children do no wrong.  The teachers are all out to get their kids.  They just like to yell and scream and create tension for everyone involved.  (I grant that there are situations where parents are entitled to be upset, but I'm not addressing those.  I'm talking about the parents who create trouble where there isn't any.)

So, here I am discussing the differences between suburban and inner-city schools with a fifth grade teacher.  Let's preface this with I would never teach fifth grade.  That is the year when they became evil.  Even the nicest kids turn into monsters in the fifth grade.  So, this private school teacher and I are talking about ideal grades to teach.  She finds out I teach third grade and she is just gushing about what a great age it is and how wonderful second and third graders are.  Compared to fifth graders, absolutely true.  However, given her reaction to my next comment, I'm not sure that she could have handled my bunch.  (My proudest moment this year?  When another teacher, who can turn on the genuine ghetto fabulousness in a heartbeat, comes out of her room while I am chewing out a kid in the hall and says, "Oh, it's you.  I thought that was someone's black ghetto mama out here."  No joke.  Completely word for word.  I have arrived!) 

This woman is going on and on about how third graders want to please you and will generally work for you, etc.  Often true.  So, without thinking anything of it, I comment, "You're so right.  I love it when they get so angry and are just yelling, 'I hope you die!,' and then 15 minutes later, they're telling me how much they love me."

Awkward pause.

"Wait, your kids say that they hope you die?"

"I mean, yeah, sometimes.  My favorite this year was when this kid, Myresha, told me that she was going to tell her mama to beat me up.  And I told her that we could call her mama right then.  And I bet that if she came up to the school I wouldn't be the one getting beat.  That kid backed down right away, 'I am so sorry, ma'am, I will never say that again, ma'am.'"

Astonished staring.  Here's where I clue in.

"Oh.  Your kids don't do that, do they?"

I completely forgot that wasn't normal.  Oops.

What to do if You're a Moron

Clearly I am sometimes an idiot.

Well, maybe occasionally more than sometimes.


Josh and I went to St. Lucia for our honeymoon.  By the way, St. Lucia is AH-maz-ing!  I will definitely have to post more about it and our adventures.  It is beautiful.  The people are incredibly nice.

Josh is very into photography.  And I think he's pretty good at it, too.  Granted, I do not have a trained eye in this field, but he did his brother's engagement photos and I think they were great.  So, naturally, he has an awesome camera.  Some of the photographers at the resort offered to trade cameras with him, haha.  Thus, we took a lot of pictures, especially when we were out doing things like zip lining, we took my not-as-nice little digital camera with us.  Not complaining- I love the camera, but it's no professional deal.

I took a bajillion pictures.

Now comes the I'm a moron part.

It's the last day of vacation.  Many, many pictures later.  I'm looking at the menu on my camera.

And you've guessed it- I have reformatted my camera.  All pictures GONE.  Deleted.  The end.

Well, crap.  Where's my dunce cap?

But apparently enough other people have done this that there is a market for data retrieval software.  Hallelujah!  All I have to do is pop my memory card into my computer and run the software and it's like magic- I get my pictures back!

So, if you are also sometimes a moron and find yourself in this predicament, I highly recommend the EASEUS Data Recovery software.  Although, I do hope that you are smarter than I am.

And now I look back at this and more recent posts and realize that I am an incredibly boring person.  Especially now that I no longer have crazy teaching stories.  So, thanks for sticking with me. ;)

More pictures to be posted soon, but I wanted to preview one of my favorites.  This was Josh's favorite guy. We kept seeing him everywhere at the resort.  He inspired Josh to make me swear never to let him do this.  Little does he know that I have so many more ways to embarrass him.  Hahahaha

Thank you, Annie, for the new blog title.

So I have decided to take Mrs. Annie Wrigley's suggestion and go with an ambiguous new blog title and I actually liked her specific suggestion so much that decided that I would go with that.

I have approached the sunset of one career and am hoping that I will not be unemployed forever and will be approaching the dawn of a new (and hopefully better fitting) one. 

Thank you to others for your suggestions.  They were fun and I appreciated the input. 

Again, thanks to those of you who read.  Hopefully these posts will be a little more interesting (although hopefully not too interesting) soon.

Also look for a post on our trip to St. Lucia soon!

New Blog Name?

So... this is my first post past the end of my teaching career....

woohoo!!!

That final week was the longest in recent memory.  I never knew that 5 days could be so long.  This was due, in large part, to the fact that both the kids and I were so long past done.  It's really hard to keep kids motivated post-test when the entire system has been set up to worship a standardized test.  But I really don't want to get into my thoughts and opinions about the current state of public education at this time. 

Perhaps over the summer when I have copious free time.  :)  I have a fabulous fiance who fully supports my need to have a little bit of a breather post teaching.  Because, as I have outlined in previous entries, my hat is off to career teachers.  Way to go!  However, I am not a career teacher, neither was I designed to be one.  As such, I am completely burned out.  I am looking forward to a time when I have normal emotions and feelings.  Things still frustrate me, make me angry, but not in the way that they probably should.  After that first year, I could not take on kids' hurts in the same way anymore.  Did I still feel their injustice and hate their situtation?  Sure.  But if I were to survive, I absolutely could not internalize it in the same way.  Part of me shut off.  It had to.

In other events...

Today I applied for my first job past teaching.  Again, I am looking to take a little time off (I still get paid for a bit- I could disperse my paycheck through 12 months instead of 10, so I'm still receiving money I already earned).  It was hard and took me forever.  I have been trying to complete the application for about a week now without success.  But today, I finally finished it.  KSA's with little direction, other than "write one or two paragraphs about each position that you are applying for and why you would be an asset" is difficult.  But it did feel good to use some of my big girl language and not dumb it down for 8 to 10-year-olds for once. :)

Additionally, I have decided that I need to change the name of my blog.  First of all, I haven't taught Pre-K for two years and now I don't even teach, so the name isn't really so appropriate anymore.  (btw, those of you who read this when it downloads into facebook, I actually write this on Google Blogger-the link's under my links on my info page).  I solicited some ideas on my facebook status:

First, "Post-K stories of insanity." A good one.  And true.  My life is still insane after pre-K, just a different type of insane.

"Tales of the Newlywed." Also a good one.  Reflective of what my life is changing into.  One week from today, I will be getting married.  Which is so SCARY.  And exciting.  Then I'm moving back to Virginia, which is terribly exciting, as well.  So (hopefully) lots of tales (hopefully goood ones). 

"Everyday Stories of Insanity."  True.  I was insane prior to this job.  And now I'm definitely more insane. ;)

"How to Stop Attracting Crazy People."  Good one.  I have attracted many a crazy person in my day.  Now is not the time to recount them....haha.  But I have appeared to have attracted a reasonably normal one. :)

"Pre-K stories: Cause of Current Insanity."  So true.  So true.  I will not elaborate further, there is no need. Just read earlier posts.

What do you think?  One of these?  Different suggestion?

Lessons Learned- Things NOT to do when I have a Kid (way, way in the future, btw)

If I have learned nothing else, I have seen some pretty interesting examples of parenting while teaching, both good and not so good.

Today's example:

While I am relatively (I hope!) certain that anyone who reads this considers this a "duh" lesson, it is worthwhile to mention because there are clearly those who think this is a good choice.

Clearly, MADD and other organizations have warned us of the perils of drinking and driving.  Generally, I considered that most people did this at night or on the weekends.  Apparently not.

I guess some consider 3:15 on a Tuesday afternoon right before you pick up your kid from school an awesome time to get hammered.  Or at least start.  Because if you're not quite buzzing enough, you can continue drinking while driving and picking up your kid and after you've hit another parent in the parking lot. Because taking a big swig of your drink when you get out of the car to inspect the damage really helps your case.

Lesson: Getting wasted to pick up your kid from school results in a car accident and the school calling the police.  Who knew?

New Directions- Resuming the old Blog

While preparing to wrap up my third and final year of teaching in the next 8 days, I came across my blog from my first year again. Although I thought that I would never forget some of those events, time has a way of numbing some of the memories.

On the other hand, time and mind-preserving psychology also has a way of erasing particularly bad memories. I have found (even months after that first year) that I am missing large blocks of memories. Pretty much everything minus major events following the first 20 minutes of the first day through most of December of that year.

I am very appreciative of those of you who read my blog that year. It really helped to know that others cared enough to read and I can honestly tell you that that is part of what got me through that year. I was in a really bad place emotionally and psychologically. However, we sometimes experience less than pleasant things so that we can appreciate the more positive experiences. (How cliche, I know.) And things are much better now.

I don't really know why I have randomly resumed today. I'm sure if I continue, it will take on new flavor as I re-emerge into a realm of slightly less crazy things. I hope you continue with me on this new journey.

Leaving teaching is bittersweet. The kids are currently making it very, very sweet. ;) Oh! I moved to third grade last year, if you didn't know. They are a different kind of crazy than Pre-K, but they are still insane. I have to admit, though, I like them much better. While I always felt that I was called to do this, I also always believed it to be a temporary calling. And now I think that God is making it abundantly clear that that calling is coming to a rapid end. At the end of the day, a person who is becoming burned out cannot possibly be remotely effective. Feeling this way, it is better to serve the kids by leaving than by clinging to this field. I feel guilty that I feel so burned out. There are people who have been in this field for 5, 10, 15, even 30 years. I respect them more than you can know. It is a back-breaking, soul-crushing, tiring job. I admire them for their persistence and perseverance. Who am I, after 3 measly years, to be burned out? I feel completely ridiculous. However, I also know that this is not my permanent calling. Maybe it is theirs. The scary part is trusting God to show me what it is that I should do next.

I know what it feels like to receive a very specific calling. Yet, I don't think that God always communicates to us in this manner. How do we, then, determine what it is that He is guiding us to do? Prayer, obviously. But how do we hear His voice in the many ways that He might choose to speak? How do we ensure that it is His voice and not merely our desires speaking? I don't have the answers. But I am excited (and scared out of my mind) to learn more as I move on to the next stages in my life.

My blog posts might not be as exciting as they used to be (I am very excited about that prospect), but I hope that you join me on my new journey in finding my next path in life.

"When they came to the border of Mysia, they tried to enter Bithynia, but the Spirit of Jesus would not allow them to. So they passed by Mysia and went down to Troas. During the night Paul had a vision of a man of Macedonia standing and begging him, 'Come over to Macedonia and help us.' After Paul had seen the vision, we got ready at once to leave for Macedonia, concluding that God had called us to preach the gospel to them." Acts 16:7-10

What an example of obedience to God's will.

This is Why I'm Here

Okay, so I'm here to teach and to form impressionable young minds. We all know that. But sometimes it's hard to remember or understand exactly why I was called here, because I do believe I was called. So, I just quickly wanted share something that I heard at church last week because I think it's something we can all employ in our lives with many different people.

I think I have a different approach than TFA a lot of times. My job is to teach and to "close the achievement gap," but, as corny as it sounds, I believe in educating both the heart and the mind. My job is to teach the letters and patterns and basic literacy and math. My job is also to teach these kids that someone loves them and, therefore, they should love themselves enough to work hard and learn to follow their dreams in life. School is a place that is safe where people love them and will take care of them.

For several of my students, I think that this approach is what will (hopefully) "save" them from being the 13-year-old fifth grader. They won't be so disruptive and angry (i.e. T) that they don't learn anything and are held back year after year, ultimately dropping out or incarcerated. As much as I hate to admit it, there are certain students of mine for whom I fear this future and I'm trying to teach them enough love that they can make something of their lives. It's so corny, I know, but it seems to be working for some of them. The saga of T will probably be a near-future post (I could have a blog just on him).

The results make me believe that this approach works for me and my students, but more importantly this is what I heard in church last Sunday. A couple from Emmaus Ministries (not the Emmaus of the Emmaus walk) work in Chicago and in Houston with men who are homeless hustlers (male prostitutes) and drug abusers. Of their work (which can be applied to anyone), they said, "You can't tell somebody about love. You have to love them. They have to know what it is to be loved so that they can experience love at the table of God." How incredible is that? It is our job to love one another, especially those who don't know love, so that we can all experience the indescribable love of God. That's why I'm here, to love these four and five-year-olds, some of whom have no concept of what love is. These little babies who, when I say, "Just come and talk to me, I'm not going to yell and I'm not going to hit you" when I'm upset with them, respond, "That's right, only mommies hit."

"'A new command I give you: Love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love one another. By this all men will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another.'" John 13:34-35